Applying “Couples” Dynamics 

to the Workplace

Did you realize that the SAME dynamics exist in the relationship between any married Couple as exist between any other pair of humans? We’re talking about roommates, business partners, best friends, Coworkers and the like. 

The biggest difference? Most of these other relationships do not involve the sexual aspect of the married relationship. Very few, one would hope. 

Aside from that, any two interfacing Coworkers will find themselves involved in the exact same sort of relationship. Just like any married couple, they can choose to WORK at mastering these relationships or allow them to fall apart, thereby affecting morale, service, output and careers. 

Ultimately, poor people skills can lead to the demise of ANY relationship.

The number one aspect of Coworker relationships – just as in a Marriage - is Communication, something MOST people are really quite terrible at mastering. Probably because of the amount of work involved. 

Here are a few tips for accomplishing successful relationships with your Coworkers:

TIP #1: 

When an issue is being addressed or a problem is being resolved, try and follow a few Rules of Engagement: 

1) shy away from the use of words such as YOU, NEVER and ALWAYS. 

2) Practice Drive-thru window communication. Repeat the order back (“What I’m hearing you say, Bob, is…”) and ask if there’s anything else (invite the opportunity to interact). 

3) Practice name-calling. No, not that kind! Use the other person’s name when speaking to them or about them before a group. 

4) Reprimand privately, exalt publicly.

TIP #2: 

Part of the “Couples” Dynamic that is shared by Coworkers is that we must serve a cause bigger than ourselves. 

A group of individuals is NOT necessarily a team so much as a mob. Serve the company Mission Statement…you DO have one, don’t you? Habakkuk 2:2 tells us to write our vision down “so those who read it can run with it.”

TIP #3: 

We must each cease to exist for the good of the relationship. The only Star in the life of a Christian should be Christ. NOT ourselves. The only purpose should be HIS purpose.

TIP #4: 

We should seek synergy, NOT compromise. The difference? If two people are sharing a room where one is hot and the other is cold, it’s not fair to expect the hot person to turn off the Air Conditioner, nor is it fair to expect the cold person to freeze. 

Synergistic solution: the hot person can turn down the A/C and drink some iced tea while the cold person can wear a sweater and drink hot cocoa. Anything less and one or the other will feel cheated. 

TIP #5: 

Facing problems can often BE a problem. Why? Because, too often, people are treated as if THEY are the problem. 

REMEMBER: People are never the problem; the PROBLEM is the problem. When both parties address challenges together, they can share in the solution.

I hope this helped!

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

Workplace Chaplain

miketummillo@me.com