Are YOU being chosen?

"...Men will rejoice when they see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel..." Zechariah 4:10.

When I was in grade school, I was always one of the final two frumpy kids chosen for our sandlot baseball games. I HATED that experience! In contrast, when I was in high school, I became a very good athlete and was often chosen as Captain. As such, I would choose the dorkiest, least-likely people for my team… not really caring so much if we won or lost as much as wanting everybody to feel wanted… and we often won!

Zerubbabel was a man chosen by God to rebuild the temple. God saw something in this man that could be used for His purposes while the people saw Zerubbabel as a man in whom they could place their trust. "So, the Lord stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel, son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the spirit of Joshua, son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and the spirit of the whole remnant of the people," (Haggai 1:14).

What does Father see in YOU? His perspective is, after all, the only one that matters. We rarely see ourselves as others see us. To others, you may be the wisest, most calm, best-equipped person they know. Some may even see you as a threat while others would follow you anywhere, if only you'd lead - even if by your Christ-like example. Could it be you are part of the remnant of Workplace Believers God is calling into action for such a time as this?

Wile you're at work, be careful not to allow the routine business of the workplace - or the gossip and politicking that goes on there - to sidetrack you from the importance of God's REAL purpose for opening the door for your employment there in the first place. 

I'm not saying you shouldn't give your job the attention it deserves. Nonsense! If we're not earning our money, we're stealing it. No, what I AM saying is be sensitive to the Holy Spirit-led opportunities to speak a word to one who is weary or encourage, comfort, console or pray with/for a coworker, vendor or  customer. 

One of Satan's strategies is to keep us distracted with the "urgency" of the moment versus the importance of Father's Kingdom agenda. Remember, every day you show up is "Bring your Savior to work Day!"

Is God's business YOUR business? "Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness…," Matthew 6:33 commands us. Ask God what your priorities should be today.  

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

Founder, The Church @ Work

Doing our Priestly Duties

Doing our priestly duties

God never intended there to be a clergy/laity separation. It's worth studying. His original intent, according to Old Testament Scripture, was to establish for himself “a nation of kings and priests” (Exodus 19:6; 1 Peter 2:9; Rev 1:4-6; Rev 5:10 )

In the New Testament, Jesus is referred to as the “King of kings” (Rev 17:14; Rev 19:16) and WE are those lower case kings. We who follow Christ are referred to as “ministers of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:17-19), therefore, we are ALL minsters.

Notice it's NOT holy people in holy clothes doing holy things on holy occasions. No, it's you and me, made holy by the Blood of Christ, indwelled with the same Spirit who raised Him from the dead (Rom 8:11), given the power and authority by King Jesus to do “greater things” than He did (John 14:12).

Amen, somebody?

Ministry through the Father's eyes

As a licensed and ordained minister, I have long-enjoyed officiating weddings, funerals and baptisms. I love being asked to officiate “Home Blessings,” too. However, in recent years, the Father has opened my eyes to one very simple truth: I must begin giving the ministry away.

Think about it. If we don't “give away” that which we've been blessed with, everything comes to a screeching halt once we're out of the picture. 

What if everything had ceased when Jesus left the earth? 

What if all miracles ceased when that last apostle died, as some believe (this can't be substantiated in my own life as I was miraculously healed of an “incurable” spinal disease called ankylosing spondilitis, among other miracles).

It's my contention everyone possessing the 5-fold gifts of Ephesians 4:11 (apostle, prophet, preacher, teacher and evangelist) is NOT merely to use that gift to bless pew-sitters to the point of their own burn-out. If that were the case, what happens when something happens to them? To answer that question, note what happens when a spider loses its head (it dies) in comparison to what happens when a starfish loses a leg (it has no head and grows another leg).

On the contrary, anyone with an extra measure of an Ephesians 4:11 GIFT is to passionately impart thAT gift to others, training and equipping THEM to do the work of the ministry. Sadly, far too many in ministry have used that gift as a means to produce an income – despite Paul's example of making tents while doing ministry - and the masses are keen to it. They don't like it and, in ever-increasing numbers, are refusing to support it. Thankfully, this is not a problem in the 3rd world where the numbers of Christ Followers is burgeoning.

One more thing about those 5-fold ministries... they aren't TITLES – they're JOB DESCRIPTIONS.

Inspiring Priesthood examples

A man and his wife in their home is nothing less than a microcosm of The Church. “Two or three gathered in My Name,” Jesus said, and His power and Presence are with them. If that's true, and that man and that woman are priests and kings, why on earth would they require a minister to do sacraments and rituals? Is there REALLY a need to hire a “professional” to do “the stuff”?

Here are several instances of the Priesthood in Action that have thrilled me to life when they took place:

FIRST, a member of our fellowship just had a baby. When a group of us stopped by with gifts to see the new addition, she and her husband asked if I would officiate a baby dedication on a certain day. Of course, I agreed to do so, but added they might want to consider doing the dedication themselves. Well, just last week, when I asked if they had settled upon a date, the young mother said they've decided to do the dedication alone, at home, as a family, before God.

This was music to my ears! 

They get it! 

I did suggest they might want to invite others who do not know the Lord, as I recognize the powerful opportunity presented by occasions such as weddings, funerals, baptism and, yes, baby dedications. This, too, is between them and the Holy Spirit, however. Whatever they have peace about doing is just fine.

SECOND, as a contributor to a website called “EzineArticles.com” for many years, my articles posted there have attracted over a quarter of a million hits. The article which has attracted the greatest number of hits and comments is called “House Blessings – bless yours NOW!” It seems to really resonate with folks that they are perfectly able and well-equipped to do the things many assume only a professional minister is allowed to do.

THIRD, A young girl of 14 enthusiastically shared with me she had recently baptized her friend from school. I was elated! In contrast, when a woman was sharing with me how wonderful had been the experience of discipling another woman, she added “I wish I could baptize her...” She was shocked and elated when I explained to her that she could!

LAST, Though many states require weddings be officiated only by a licensed minister, others require only that the married couple recognize and permit the Officiant to do so. Think about this: In the case of a Justice of the Peace, if that individual is on vacation, anyone sitting in his/her place can STILL officiate, that is, their signature is considered legit on the Marriage License. So, what's the big deal? On a Carnival cruise ship, despite being a “REAL” minister, I am not allowed to officiate a wedding on board. No, that responsibility belongs to the ship's Captain and costs $400, whereas I never charge for officiating weddings.

Finally, my priestly brothers and sisters...

Is there something the Lord may be calling YOU to do, but your motivation is coming, not from obedience, but from a lying voice telling you you're not worthy, not qualified, or illegitimate? 

God has ordered your steps to this message today to let you know you've been lied to. Deceived. His permission is all that is required to go about building His Kingdom. You may have years of religiosity to overcome. It may be a part of your spiritual DNA. But truth is truth. 

Either I'm lying, or someone else is. Either I'm being led by the Holy Spirit, or by a demon spirit, or somebody else is. Truth will resonate with the hearer and they will know it and be set free by it.

You may not be Ordained by some manmade institution, but God has ordained the Ordinary. 

Are YOU ordinary?

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

Founder, The Church @ Work

AMERICA: It isn't working!

I'm tired of hearing politicians say things like, “We must get America back to work.” Fact is, last time I heard a Presidential candidate say something like that, I was stricken by how faint the applause were that interrupted him.

Problem: As I see it, the Government has made it too easy for Americans to HAVE to work.

Why should we bother working?

A recent study showed the average annual disposable income is lower than the average amount the Fed shells out to recipients of what it refers to as Federal Dependency programs.

Welfare, in other words. Uncle Sam, by continuing in this way, is encouraging Americans to live off the Government Dole rather than work for a living.

Imagine that!

Is THIS the NEW American Way? Man, that sure doesn't line-up with what MY Bible says! In 2 Thessalonians 3:10, Paul writes, “Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: "Those unwilling to work will not get to eat."

Before you read another word, I feel I need to say this: When I was a young father, a coworker and I were terminated on the same day when the ad agency we worked for closed its doors. Together, we drove to the welfare office that very hour and completed the paperwork for the Food Stamp Program - now called the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), the card itself being referred to as Electronic Benefit Transfers (EBT's) - and Unemployment benefits. I had four children and a wife and I didn't know how long I'd be unemployed. My friend was a single mother of two. Though I wound up being unemployed the next six months, in all honesty, I enjoyed the time off and did the bare minimum required by the Government to find another job. In fact, I only got REALLY serious about job hunting when my Food Stamps were about to expire.

In truth, I had very little motivation to look for work. I rationalized I had been working since I was 15 and paid into the system, by golly. I deserved this hand-up and I was “getting mine”! Slothfulness and mediocrity crept into my life and, when I recollect who I was becoming in those days, I'm not very proud nor pleased with myself.

But I didn't know the Lord then. All I knew was the example I'd been shown by the world I lived in. I had become little more than a product of my environment. Years later, when I was tormented by a crippling spinal disease, I worked my corporate job on the 8^th floor until I could hardly walk, even with a cane. I spent my nights sitting in a chair, unable to lay horizontally due to the extreme pain. I went in late almost every day, but I stayed late and my boss appreciated that.

When I finally had to quit my job, on two occasions I had welfare papers in my hand along with all the information I would need to get on Federal assistance... but after praying and seeking God's will, I tossed that information in the trash, convicted to trust HIM alone for my healing and with my future.

God honored that step of faith as, from that day forward, He sent ravens to tend to my needs, kind people with a heart burdened to help me. I saw miracles, too. Many of them. In time, miraculously, my healing manifested. Eventually, my chiropractor told me I had “a textbook spine.” God's been so gracious and good to me!

That being said, I wonder, how many of the 40 Million SNAP recipients receive food stamps who could be working instead? Did you know EBT's are accepted by most Fast Food joints these days? Though I don't agree with legislating what foods people choose to buy with their EBT, A Big Mac and fries just doesn't “feel” right to me.

When Paul wrote about those who won't work not eating, I wonder, what happens when we don't eat? WE DIE, that's what! Was Paul really writing those non-working Believers off as dead meat? I believe he was. He knew they'd get busy when they couldn't think over the sound of their own bellies growling.

I Got Mine!

Many say, “I paid into the system all my life, I have it coming!” Truth is, the system may not even exist by the time our kids retire. Be not deceived! It may not even be there by the time Baby Boomers retire. Goodness knows, we don't put into the system anywhere near as much as we expect to receive since we live for 30 or 40 years longer than when the Social Security system was originated.

Is the Government trying to see how many they can give college loans to? It seems as if they actually WANT kids to graduate with so much debt, they'll work forever just to pay back those loans.

Is it some sort of weird Governmental goal to see how many people they can get on Social Security as early as possible? Personally, I believe we would do well to adjust Social Security for our improved life expectancies; most people DO want to remain productive members of society, don't they?

We don't need to retire so soon. Frankly, I don't plan on retiring at all. Ever! Abraham didn't. Neither did Moses. Me neither! I believe a Follower of Jesus can either re-TIRE, or re-FIRE! I plan on stoking my spiritual fire and making a difference in my world until, well... until I can't.

Just the facts...

It's a statistical fact, half the people in the country receive some form of Government aid, mostly the same half who don't pay any federal income taxes, I might add. Many have become dependent, are using the system's parameters to the max as well as blatantly cheating the system, and will never be in favor of cutting back.

C'mon, man... 99 weeks of jobless benefits encourages people to hold out for the perfect job rather than simply getting busy. We've given our citizens too many motivations to stay at home than to go out to work or start their own business.

During one stretch of unemployment, I made flyers offering my services cleaning ovens. I only got 13 assignments before a “real” job came along, the last client offering me $100 to clean his oven that “looked like hell,” as he said. It did, too! While serving as an Assistant Pastor of a church of 300, never taking a salary in seven years, I once worked three janitorial jobs with three different uniforms, occasionally getting confused as to which one to wear.

Did you know 28% of Federal spending went to “dependence” programs in 1962 while that number's up over 70% today? What are we thinking?!! We're going the way of Greece, people, that's why we need entitlement reform, before it's too late.

So many people believe they're “entitled” these days, convinced somebody “owes them” something! Why bother working when the government benefits are there for anyone who chooses NOT to work?

Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare are critical concerns and becoming bigger as Baby Boomers retire, 10,000 reaching age 65 every day. Wouldn't families, churches and charities step in to help if someone's income came to the end after 99 weeks? They USED to.

If we really want to solve this problem, we MUST deal with it. What we're doing now simply isn't working. Since judgement begins in the House of the Lord, Pastors, how are YOU handling this? An old Minister used to encourage young men in his congregation to “get ANY kind of job because you never know who you'll meet as a coworker or customer. I guaranteed you'll meet no one while sitting at home watching TV.”

Yes, we are in awful economic times and, logically, we would have to expect more welfare. Obviously, dependency spending is a huge problem. Seems to me, if we left the money in the hands of the people who earned it, taxed them less and devalued the dollar less, we'd see more free enterprise in action with new jobs and wouldn't need so many government programs.

There, problem solved.

It's beginning to look more and more as though the Government is motivated to control the citizenry, even to the point of shredding our Constitution. But who will want to push back and, in essence, bite the hand that feeds us? All flesh DOES tend to seek after its own comfort, after all.

Work-related Scriptures. The message is clear.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,”
Colossians 3:23 (see Colossians 3:22- 4:1)

Does the Word of God admonish us to work hard while we still can? Ephesians 6:6 tells us, “Work hard, but not just to please your masters when they are watching. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”

In the Old Testament, we read, “...every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, it is the gift of God,” Ecclesiastes 3:13. A gift? Work is a gift? Have you ever looked at your job that way?

Sometimes I wonder if, by choosing NOT to work, we are actually waving a white flag. “I tried to get rich, failed... that's it. I quit!”

Maybe the reason so many seem to fail is because they served the wrong boss. Proverbs 16:3 advises us, “Commit your work to the LORD, and then your plans will succeed.” 
Obviously, from Heaven's vantage point, it doesn't matter who the check-signer is.

In 2 Chronicles 15:7, we read, “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” As I said, for far too many, retirement is equivalent to waving the white flag of surrender.

Something else we should consider as Followers of Christ is the way we treat co-workers, employers, employees, customers and vendors, other people's spouses, sons and daughters while we are working with them. “The LORD demands fairness in every business deal; he sets the standard,”
Proverbs 16:11. We reap what we sow, after all. Maybe we weren't as excellent at what we did as we thought we were.

Another thought to consider is this: What did we do with what we earned? Did we invest it wisely? The best investment I can think of is our investment in PEOPLE. Ephesians 4:28 supports this notion. It says, “He must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need,”
Ephesians 4:28.

We must not forget what 1 Corinthians 10:31 declares. “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” One glance at our checkbooks and calendars can be quite revealing in regard to who our “god” really is. Where we spend our money and time is very telling.

Where our treasure is, that's where our hearts will be, too, Luke 12:34). And all the world will see.

Deuteronomy 8:18 declares, “But you shall remember the LORD your God: for it is he that gives you power to get wealth, that he may establish his covenant which he swore to your fathers, as it is this day.”

Translation: God gives you power to attain wealth and His Covenant will be established as you do.

How's that workin' for ya?

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

Founder, The Church @ Work

For the destruction of their flesh!

In 1 Corintians 5:5, there was described a sinful incident regarding a young man who was having an affair with his stepmother. While such scandalous accounts are quite common in our world today, what makes this particular incident so unique is that it was taking place among Followers of Christ within the early church.

Though today's congregations would likely choose to 'live and let live,' for love is a beautiful thing and the pair might seem SOOOO happy together and besides, some might say, "isn't it nice to see her smiling after being so unhappily married to a man who's so abusive to her all these years?"

Perhaps these Greek thinkers had analyzed and dissected the matter, rationalizing it away and choosing to turn a blind eye. Maybe they were unwilling to make waves and stir up their peaceful, joyful Love Feasts.

What was the apostle Paul's directive to the Church in Corinth? He wrote, “You must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.”

OUCH! Have you ever handed anyone over to Satan for the destruction of his/her flesh?

What does that even mean?

What does that look like?

Actually, it's quite simple. If an individual has heard the Word of God, they've been exposed to the Way of the Cross, the Kingdom teachings, yet they have obviously chosen (yes, it's a choice) to serve his/her carnal nature rather than Jesus as Lord, showing no signs of godly sorrow which leads to repentence, perhaps even pride and rebellion, it is our place – our RESPONSIBILITY – to deliver such a one over to Satan for the destruction of that carnal nature. It isn't serving anyone, not even themselves.

In all the years I've mentioned, or have heard others refer to, this verse, the typical response is something like, “Oh! That sounds terrible! I could never do that!”

Bear in mind, Paul is NOT issuing this directive in order to condemn anyone to Hell. Truth is, motivated by a heart full of love and compassion, Paul says, in essence, “Let the devil whoop up on them for awhile and, hopefully... please, God, HOPEFULLY... they will repent and serve King Jesus! No one is a lost cause! We mustn't give-up on anyone!”

It's a hard call.

I know.

I have actually prayed this prayer for a loved one, a man who has been breaking the law, negatively impacting society for decades, jeopardizing innocent bystanders, costing taxpayers money, stealing, lying, having immoral relationships that have led to pregnancies and abortions, damaging property, hurting people, etc. It was not long after he had just been sprung from jail by well-meaning but misguided loved ones (who now know better) that I felt compelled to vocally command the devil – just as God assigned Satan to Job – to pursue this fellow, a man I firmly believe could be the Darkside's worst nightmare. My simple instructions were not unlike those God gave to Satan regarding Job, “You cannot kill him.”

It was not long after I gave this command that he stole $1200 from me and was later arrested for breaking into a storage unit. He's in prison now, right where he needs to be, and he acknowledges that fact.

He's my oldest son.

I once spoke with a man with a prison ministry and asked him what aspect of his ministry he enjoyed most. Without hesitation, he said, “Talking to the prisoners who have had an encounter with Jesus... THOSE are my closest friends!” One of his dearest brothers in Christ is a prisoner who used to be a hit-man for a Los Angeles gang. His murder weapon of choice was a 12-guage shotgun. Tatooed from his eyebrows upward, down and his back and covering his body, my friend described him as a gentle, sweet-spirited Christian who, incidentally, has been married 25 years, even though he will spend the rest of his life in prison. God is using him there to reach gangsters and tough guys who know his reputation.

Is there someone you know who has heard the Word but has chosen to follow after darkness rather than light? Do you know any out-of-control people who have chosen a demonic death-style rather than a godly life-style? Have you prayed on scabby knees, broken curses, shouted at the devil, cried, begged and pleaded with that loved one AND with God, anointed with oil till you're blue in the face? Most importantly, have you demonstrated unconditional love for them, exhibited toward them the unmerited favor of God's grace, extended his mercy and even His availability toward them? Make sure you have loved them and prayed for them and that you are NOT angry with them when you do this.

You must know this: to hand someone over to Satan for the destruction of their flesh is NOT giving up; it's an extension of your concern for them. Loving someone who's always in trouble is NOT having them out of jail. No, the greatest love we can have for anyone is that they would encounter the Living Christ and be forever changed SO THAT they can advance the Kingdom in their world and experience life worth living.

A purpose.

Even if that world is behind bars.

Paul ends Chapter 5 with these words (emphasis mine): I told you NOT to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I was NOT talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”

Pray about this, folks. Ask God for wisdom. Our failure to practice this exercise WITHIN The Church might be the very reason for our complete lack of power and influence on our communities.

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

Founder, The Church @ Work

LGBT's and friends play 'Chicken' with Chick-fil-A... and lose!

In an interview with the Baptist Press, Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy was asked whether the company has an official position against marriage equality.

His response? “Well, guilty as charged… We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.”

That's when the firestorm began. Apparently, Cathy's remarks left a bad taste in the mouths of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (LGBT) crowd as well as those who support them. The company was lambasted by Boston's Mayor who promised to stop any attempt by Chick-fil-A to enter the city (Good luck with that). Then, the Jim Henson Company (The Muppets?!! Say it isn't so!) spoke out against Chick-fil-A and ended its partnership with the company.

With all the stuff going on in the world right now – really serious stuff that's taking a toll on human lives, property and finances – these people seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time and energy protesting a chicken restaurant!

I have three words for them: Get a life! Doesn't the enemy ALWAYS wind up shooting himself in the foot? I mean, in the grand scheme of things, there MUST be something more substantial anybody can cry about besides their sexual orientation. I'd say the same thing if a bunch of straight womanizers, or an army of so-called “Cougars,” were protesting. Maybe school teachers who seduce their students should stop eating there. Sandusky, it's your turn!

What does who-you-get-naked-with have to do with fast food?

Am I missing something?

Sigh.

There's an old expression attributed to the great showman P.T. Barnum of Barnum & Bailey's Circus. It goes like this: “I don't care what they say about me, just make sure they spell my name right!”

Gee, kinda makes anyone engaged in self-promotion – a cause, a product, their own talents - to start spreading rumors about themselves. Cathy should start writing letters of thanks to the LGBT's, thanking them for all the free press! This story's got legs, people... CHICKEN legs!

I was in Austin, Texas yesterday, attending the last of eight sessions of a HAM Radio course I've been taking. I stopped at Chick-fil-A, just as I had before the previous seven sessions. The place was packed, as usual, the two drive-thru lanes wrapped around the building. The place was clean. The staff was clean-cut, friendly, knowledgable, as always. I couldn't help but think – in light of the recent protests against them – how, even if I were gay, I'd still be eating there. Great food! As I sat at my booth, books, notepads and wrappers all over the place, a fresh-faced Employee approached me, smiling, and asked if I'd like more tea. I declined, even though I greatly appreciated his kind gesture.

Many years ago, I felt strongly compelled to ask several successful Christian men what it was like to be wealthy and Christian. So, I sent a letter to the President of WalMart (Sam Walton's successor, David Glass) who phoned me at home, the President of Chick-fil-A (S. Truett Cathy, Dan's father) who sent me an autographed copy of his popular book “It's Easier to Succeed than to Fail” along with a hand-written note, and another local philanthropist who spent 2 hours with me after I stopped by his company unannounced.

As a Workplace Chaplain, I recommend the elder Cathy's book – even after all these years. It's motivating and thought-provoking. Every Christian with a job, or who owns a business, can all learn a great deal from this man (go to Amazon.com or click http://amzn.com/0840790309).

One last thing: to the LGBT folks, whether you know it or not, God loves you. He sent his Son Jesus to die for your sins, just as He did my own. I'm NOT talkin' Religion here... I'm referring to a very REAL person who has your best interests at heart. Also, as a 25-year marketing guru, if you want to win the hearts and minds of Americans of all stripes, you won't win them by protesting chicken restaurants. You'll win them by your philanthropic causes, the things you do individually and corporately to reach out to the brotherhood of man. For starters, you might want to read Cathy's book. He's a self-made billionaire. You, too, can learn a great deal from him and his methods.

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

Founder, The Church @ Work

SHOCKING: Sexually abused American kids

I left Austin, Texas at 6:15 this morning. While listening to a news report, I felt compelled to sit down and write the following message that it might manifest healing in the lives of those who would read it..

As an ice-breaker at a small Bible Study, I once asked the group to share a story revealing one thing none of us would know know about them. While every story shared was light-hearted and made us laugh, eventually, we came to an older gentleman who confessed to being sexually abused as a boy.

As a somberness fell upon the attendees, a woman in her 30's told us she, too, had been sexually abused. Then another person spoke up, sharing how they had been treated the same way.

Then another.

In the end, fully one-half those present admitted to having been sexually abused as children.

I've read the statistics pertaining to the United States alone: 30% more likely to commit violent crimes. 28% more likely to get arrested as an adult. 15% of all men in prison were sexually abused as well as 36% of all women.

I could go on and on. It gets ugly. It paints an awful, quite telling portrait of our culture.

Not too Rockwellian, is it?

By now, most of us have heard about the Penn State Predator, Jerry Sandusky, who sexually abused young boys for years in the football locker room. Sandusky was convicted on 45 counts of sexual abuse involving young boys.

The NCAA leveled sanctions against Penn State for covering this up, including a $60 million fine – about one year's gross revenues from the football games alone. Over the weekend, a statue of legendary Coach Joe Paterno was removed from Penn State.

Yes, Joe knew about Sandusky, too, and did nothing.

Former Penn State President Graham Spanier said he would never have ignored accusations of child sex abuse on campus had he known because he "personally experienced massive and persistent abuse as a child."

HAVE YOU BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED?

I know of people who suppressed their abuse so deeply, they either cannot recall if it really happened to them, or the details are extremely sketchy. As a result, many have struggled for decades with spiritual, physical and psychological trauma and stress. Eating and sleeping disorders, withdrawal, guilt, anger, depression, casting blame, nightmares, relational issues, these are but a few symptoms resulting from this sort of trauma.

Spiritually, people often get mad at God, suddenly turn away from Him, feel distant from Him, unloved, question their own faith, and refuse to believe He really cares.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 reads: “In the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power.”

I just Googled the phrase “Sexual Abuse in Scripture.”

Do it. You'll be stunned.

HEALING FROM SEXUAL ABUSE

Following are Six Steps to Healing from Sexual Abuse. The authors of this procedure include Dr. James Dobson, H. Norman Wright, Tim and Beverly LaHaye and others. It's good stuff and I pray it will benefit you!

One-fourth of American women and a growing number of men have experienced some form of sexual abuse, ranging all the way from inappropriate talk to years of repeated physical violation.  Sexual abuse produces emotional, psychological and spiritual damage that devastates some of its victims.

The fallout can last for years, even for a lifetime.  Victims may experience fear of relationships, anxiety, a hatred or distrust of men, an overwhelming sense of shame and guilt, loss of self-worth, difficulty with sex in marriage, a tendency to promiscuity, and inability to relate to God.  Victims often carry the secret of their experiences as a heavy burden, afraid of the effect on family and friends if others knew.  Many miss the happiness of a carefree childhood.

In Christ there is healing for people damaged by sexual abuse.  As with every other kind of sin-damage in this fallen world, God's word gives us steps back to wholeness and his truth sets us free. 

Abuse victims often need professional counseling (Caution:  some secular counselors undermine Christian values).  But the ultimate answers are spiritual.  Here are some steps to health based on principles from the scriptures:

1. Recover a Biblical view of sex.

Abuse victims often have trouble with sex in marriage because they associate it with painful memories.  After sexual trauma, sex often seems dirty and repulsive.  The victim needs to realize that God does not look at sex that way.  Just as we need to get corrective lenses when our eyes are deceiving us, we need to let God's word correct our feelings about sex.

In the creation God "made them male and female" - Genesis 1:27.  It was the holy and good God who thought up human anatomy and sexual attraction.  "God saw all that he had made and it was very good" - Genesis  1:31.  God commanded Adam and Eve to come together.  They did so with his blessing - Genesis 1:28;  2:24. 

God gave us sex as a beautiful gift.  The scriptures celebrate the joy of sexual love within holy marriage - Proverbs 5; Song of Solomon; 1 Corinthians 5:2-5;  Hebrews 13:4.  If we associate sex with shame and abuse, it is only because of what the sinful world has done to it.  God says sex is good. He does not want us to see it as bad.  The abuse victim may see this with the mind; it takes longer to convince his or her emotions.  But this has to happen before there can be healing.

2. Learn the difference between true and false guilt, and accept God's forgiveness for any guilt that is real.

Often abuse victims carry a huge burden of guilt and condemn themselves because of what has happened.  Though much abuse happens before a child is old enough to know right and wrong, many victims hold themselves unreasonably accountable, as though they should have been thinking like adults when they were small.  God would not expect of them what they demand of themselves.  Abusers are devilishly clever at leading children by gradual steps.  Bribes or threats are often used, things that an adult can handle, but not a child.  Victims of all ages are raped against their will.

People who have suffered abuse often run on an endless treadmill of guilt and never feel clean or forgiven.  "I know God forgives others, but I don't believe God can forgive my sin.  Other people could not forgive or accept me if they knew my secret." 

We need to get a Biblical view of forgiveness.  God has forgiven millions of adulterers and immoral people who were grown up and chose to do what they did; how much more can he accept people who were too young to be responsible, or who were forced into wrong behavior!

King David committed adultery with Bathsheba, wife of Uriah, and then had Uriah killed to cover things up.  Yet when David came to his senses and cried to God for forgiveness, God forgave him - 2 Kings 11,12;  Psalms 32,51.  Jesus took a lot of time teaching a woman who had been through five divorces and was now living with a man.  He changed her life - John 4.

Jesus forgave the woman who had been caught in adultery and set her on a new path - John 8:1-11. He forgave the prostitute who washed his feet with her tears of repentance - Luke 7:36-50.  The Corinthians had committed all kinds of sexual sin and perversion, yet they had been "washed, made holy, justified" when they came to Christ - 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

When Christ forgives us, we are "born again;" the old person we were is buried with Christ and we begin a new life, clean and free - John 3:3-5;  Romans 6:3-5;  2 Corinthians 5:17.  And when God forgives, He really forgives!  "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool" - Isaiah 1:18.  "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" - Psalm 103:3,8-13.  "You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea" - Micah 7:19.

God wants to forgive us so much that he gave up his own Son to die a cruel death for us in payment for our sins - Romans 5:8;  1 Peter 3:18;  Isaiah 53:4-6;  John 3:16.  Jesus wanted so much to forgive us that he volunteered to die.  If you are penitent for your sins, what would Jesus say to you about them if you were talking with him today?

Before Paul became Christ's apostle, he mistakenly persecuted Christians and tried to wipe out the gospel of Christ.  He imprisoned Christians and caused some to die.  He forced some to deny Christ in order to save their lives.  Later, as a preacher of Christ, he could remember faces of people he had destroyed and hear their cries.  Yet he knew Christ had forgiven him.  He could not change the past, but he could turn loose of it and use the rest of his life to serve God and other people.  Paul said God chose him as a preacher so he would be an exhibit of how great God's forgiveness is.  Read 1 Timothy 1:12-16.

Some of us, like Paul, would give almost anything to go back and change some things in our past. We can't do that, but we do have a choice about what we will do with our life from today onward.  If you are still reproaching yourself for things for which you were not responsible, stop it and get on with serving God.  If you feel that you reasonably bear some of the responsibility for what happened, confess that to God and accept his forgiveness.  Then, like Paul, "forget what is behind and press on toward what is ahead" in Christ - Philippians 3:12-14. 

It is time to rest from what you have been carrying for so long.  Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" - Matthew 11:28-30.

The bad things that happened to you did not come from God, but he is so great that he can use your experiences to make you a helper of other people who struggle with the same things.

3. Realize that the hold of the past is blocking God's purpose for your life today.

Your life may be controlled by guilt, self-hate, and by resentment toward God and the abuser.  Much of your mind and energy are unavailable to God, to your family, your work.  You may think, “I would give anything to be emotionally free and whole again.”  Yet the painful emotions seem impossible to throw off.  They are ever with you, no matter how hard you try.  Let me encourage you not to give up.  Christ really is greater than any problem we have.  By His help and that of caring Christians, you can gradually gain more freedom.  You can become more and more able to resolve the painful memories of the past, give everything into God's hands, and live the abundant life God planned for you.  You can experience positive blessings.  Over time, these good memories will replace the bad ones at the center of your heart.  God wants you to be free.

4. You will never be free until you forgive your abuser and turn vengeance over to God.

If you are controlled by continuing bitterness and depression, this allows the abuser to continue to destroy your life.  Your abuser has done enough to you already. By hating the person, you give that person continuing control over you.  By God’s grace you have a choice.

There cannot be a complete transaction of forgiveness and reconciliation unless the abuser repents and asks your forgiveness.  You should work toward that if possible - Matthew 18:15;  Romans 12:18. But even if the person is not penitent, you can decide to stop resenting and leave it to God to deal with the person.  "'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" - Romans 12:17-21.

Even before people apologize, Jesus teaches us to have a spirit of forgiveness.  On the cross Jesus prayed forgiveness for His murderers.  Forgiveness does not mean you approve what the person has done.  If there were no sin there would be nothing to forgive.  Forgiveness just means deciding to cancel the debt.  It is important to realize that forgiveness is more a decision of the will than a feeling.  Ask God for strength to make that decision.

When you are able to honestly pray for the salvation of your abuser, you will have come a long way. God also wants the abuser to come to his or her right mind and be forgiven.  As a child of God, you need to think like God does. Forgiving your abuser and relinquishing everything to God is a big step toward reclaiming your life.

(Note:  If the person who abused you is in a position to harm others in the same way, you have an obligation to protect them by informing someone responsible who can help the abuser stop his behavior, and/or protect others from him).

5. Measure your self-worth by God's measure.

Sexual abuse victims may hate themselves or feel dirty, damaged and worthless.  They may have no self-esteem left.  They feel that others would reject them if their secret were known.  A lot of lives are ruined because we measure our worth by the world's standards rather than seeing ourselves as God sees us.  God made us and we are every one dear to Him.  When bad things happen to us, or even when we mess up our lives, God longs after us just like any good parent does his or her child.  You are so valuable to God that God gave up His own Son to save you.

When Jesus talked to people, saints or sinners, each person sensed how much he or she was loved and valued by Jesus.  There was no person who was not worth Jesus' time and concern.  Look at how He treated the Samaritan woman at the well, John 4.  The sinners and outcasts of Jesus' day were so valuable to Jesus that He endured harsh criticism in order to spend time with them.  Knowing what you do about Jesus, how do you think He would talk to you if you visited with Him today?  Jesus does not feel disgust at you because of what you have experienced.  He only feels sorrow for what you have suffered and a great desire to help you be well.

Your emotions will deny this, but the truth about Jesus in the gospels is more reliable than your traumatized emotions are.  You are really are valuable and you have a wonderful potential if you let Jesus heal and direct your life.

6. Let Christ heal your painful memories.

Just when you think things are getting better, something triggers the memories again and the pain and loathing return.  This is because the memories have not been resolved as God's word teaches. They are so painful that we often stuff them back down in our subconscious and put the lid on them rather than resolving them scripturally.  We may try to escape the pain through denial, substance or alcohol abuse, workaholism, a series of relationships, or some other temporary fix.  But as long as painful memories are repressed, they are always there ready to return and interfere with our lives.

There is nothing that can happen to a person but what there is wisdom in God's word for handling it constructively.  The Bible gives us steps to take when someone hurts us, when we hurt someone else, when tragedy comes, when we have messed up.  When bad things happen to us, we often start out dealing with it in the world's way, not God's way.  It doesn't work, and the problem keeps surfacing.  But God has a way.  Whether something happened thirty years ago, or three years, or three days ago, we still need to resolve it in God's way and really put it to rest.

This means doing something we are not inclined to do.  We have to bring out the painful memories, relive them mentally, and this time begin dealing with the events the way God teaches us to.  Having begun to see things through God's eyes, we can now respond differently.  If we have been in denial, we have to face the reality of what has happened, but this time knowing that the loving support of God is with us.  We have to admit how angry we really are, and then deal with anger in Biblical ways. We have to let ourselves grieve, and realize that God will not condemn us for grieving.  If we are angry with God, we have to admit that too.  Then we work toward trusting Him.

For some people, this process is too difficult without the help of a qualified counselor.  For others, it is enough to spend a series of times alone working through things.  The process is accompanied by Bible reading and honest prayer.  The memories will always be painful, but they become more manageable as the strong emotions are resolved in God's way and the whole need handed over to him - 1 Peter 5:7.

PLEASE FORWARD this article. Someone you know has probably been sexually abused as a child. Deliverance is available through Jesus Christ. He's STILL in the healing business!

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

Founder, The Church @ Work