The Place of Weeping and Despair

"My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death" 
(Matthew 26:38).

Does that verse describe you? 

Has it EVER?

On two occasions in my own life, one when I was wracked by pain from an "incurable" spinal disease (the Father, in His infinite mercy, saw fit to heal me) and the other when my marriage to my children's mother ended and the kids were gone when I came home from work, I despaired of my own life. 

I wanted to die. 

Yes, I seriously considered suicide. That powerful thought came out of nowhere, but I was at my most vulnerable state and Satan knew it. "What's the use?" I asked myself. 

I learned a few things as a result of those moments, those darkest hours of my soul. Allow me to share.

First of all, I learned the place of our greatest pain often becomes the place of our greatest triumph. In other words, the fruit doesn't grow on mountain tops; it grows in valleys. Gethsemane was the place of Jesus' greatest trial. Goodness! His sweat was drops of blood! Three times He asked the Father to let this trial pass, but it was not to be. 

Gethsemane means "The place of the skull." I've noticed the enemy's main point of attack is in our minds, the place of our skulls. That's where we need to kill all the thoughts and emotions trying to exalt themselves above the truths of God. When I was at my lowest, rather than a 'Woe is me' attitude, it might have served me much better to ask questions such as, "Lord, what are you trying to teach me through this?" or "What possible good can come as a result of this situation?"

Also, I realized Jesus was faced with the temptation to quit, too. But He knew His destiny needed to be fulfilled and He could not run from his assignment. It was a personal battle to persevere. 

Sometimes we face situations that cry out "That's it! I can NOT endure this any longer!" We want to throw in our towel of what little faith we have left. We conclude that this faith thing simply does not work. Folks, I've been there. Seems to me, Jesus was there, too.

Luke 22:43 tell us, "Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him." After Jesus asked the Father if this cup could pass from Him, an angel was sent to comfort Him. Though Father's answer to Jesus was "No, this cup will not pass," His compassion came in the form of a ministering angel. 

Some temptations seem they are more than we can bare. However, Scripture reminds us: "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it," (1 Cor 10:13).

Finally, I learned when we persevere, we will find the place of our greatest battle becomes the place of our greatest victory. God will use your greatest failures and sorrows as a powerful force in your life and the lives of others. I have learned that, when Satan attacks, he ALWAYS shoots himself in the foot. When we Followers of Jesus fall, we fall forward. Your "Valley of Baca" (mean "weeping") will become a spring of refreshment and life for you and others. As life goes on, you will go from strength to strength (Ps 84:6) despite perceived challenges and calamities. 

Are you finding yourself in your own type of "Garden of Gethsemane"? If so, lay yourself at the feet of the only One who can sustain you. His Name is Jesus! "I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears," Psalm 34:4.

I hope this message encourages you. Please prayerfully consider anyone you know who might be blessed to read it as well.

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

Founder, The Church @ Work